A Response to the Pessimism/Optimism -- Why Americans Need Therapy.

I've had some interesting conversations regarding a previous blog, entitled "I shun you pessimists", there's not too much writing here, so just scroll down... it's there.

One student/client, in particular, emphasized that the pessimism of the Slovaks isn't really pessimism, it is deemed honesty, caring, real advice. By virtue of the fact that often warnings are safeguarding against the negative future, it seems pessimistic; but, it is actually a reflection of reality. It is the cultural difference that makes it be perceived as pessimism.

Wow. See? Taking off my cultural goggles, I see that this could really be the case. It is true that there are many difficulties accompanying a business license. So, it isn't about pessimism or optimism, it is about encouragement or warning -- an issue of reinforcement or caring.

This is a constant in my business English lessons -- how we communicate differently. Americans hedge, buffer, give good news and bad news using business jargon/double speak to express negative activity. If you don't believe me, try to remember the beginning of your superior subordinate life -- the way your teachers graded your papers, or the way that a superior would say "there is some room for improvement" rather than saying "there are weaknesses". Everything is phrased positively -- this doesn't mean optimistically. "This paper/report is very thought provoking, HOWEVER... The underlying message is the same. We have become wizards at reading between the lines and knowing a compliment when we see it, or a veiled criticism when we see it. This is very hard for someone to grasp from a culture with less context or as a non-native speaker.

I've definitely experienced this in the classroom, when mid-term grades astonished my students. They thought that they were doing well, as in A+ well, because of my constant positive exclamations. Even today, I find it difficult not to compliment first before criticizing. One of my very well known criticisms is: What a very good answer! It is very logical, but wrong. This would never be said in a Slovak classroom. No wrong answer has value. It's wrong and wrong isn't "good" for any reason.

My client suggested in class that it is a result of our superficiality. I'm not so sure. When I compliment a student on their logic, it is a real compliment. He regarded these statements as false, fake, untruths and questioned the idea of whether or not one can get a straight answer from anyone. I thought about this. If anyone can get a straight answer it is from a friend... Experiment: remember the last time you asked if your clothes looked flattering?

Is this why we are a culture of therapy and self-help books? That we've skewed our self-perception to such an extent that we can't admit weakness -- its all room for improvement; it isn't that I'm fat -- it's that my clothes aren't chosen well; it isn't that I'm stupid -- it's that I have a different learning style; it isn't that I've been fired -- I've been redeployed outside the company?

Does our language enable us to avoid facing reality?
Or are we such linguistic technicians that we have the ability to encourage, let down or evade what might be considered blunt, tactless criticism?

hmmmmmmmm...